A Tooth Brush, A Thought And A Reaction

Ever had a day when something small, like knocking over a toothbrush, sparks a wave of emotion you never saw coming? Those moments can feel huge when you’re living with dyslexia or ADHD, but they can also be powerful teachers if you pause and listen to what’s really happening beneath the surface.

In this podcast episode, I share how a simple mishap made me realise how blame and overreaction can spin out of control in the dyslexic and ADHD mind. We explore the reasons behind these intense responses, how to shift our perspective, and why treating ourselves with kindness is vital. If you want to understand how little things trigger big emotions, and what to do about it, this one’s for you.

The Toothbrush Incident

It started with an everyday routine. I was in a rush, my mind doing somersaults with about ten tasks I needed to complete next, when my elbow clipped my toothbrush. It clattered to the floor. Usually, I’d shrug off something that minor, but not that day. I felt a surge of self-blame that caught me off balance.

Before I knew it, my mind spiralled into a frustration loop. A single question ripped through my thoughts: “Why do I always make silly mistakes?” That one small moment became a symbol of every other little slip I’d made, and blame took centre stage. It was a reminder that how we respond can speak volumes about what’s truly under the surface.

“That little clack of the toothbrush hitting the floor felt huge. It made me realise I’d been blaming myself for all sorts of small mistakes.”

Why Blame Can Feel So Intense

For many with dyslexia or ADHD, random events can snowball. It’s rarely about the actual accident. It’s about the string of past experiences when simple errors led to bigger embarrassment, shame, or frustration.

Without realising it, we absorb a pattern of blame. We see ourselves as the problem. A single mishap stirs up memories of all the times we felt we couldn’t do something right. It’s easy to believe we’re just clumsy or disorganised permanently, rather than seeing it as a momentary accident.

When that happens, here’s what tends to go on inside:

• Immediate emotional reaction: The mind jumps to worst-case scenarios or old stories about failure.
• Blame reflex: We point the finger at ourselves or at external things, searching for a reason it happened.
• Self-doubt: Negative self-talk sneaks in, telling us we’re bound to mess up again.

The ADHD Twist

Overreaction can also be super-charged by ADHD. Our minds are quick, leaping between thoughts in a flash. When something interrupts us, we can react before we’re fully aware of it. This can look like anger, panic, or even tears over seemingly tiny issues.

That’s not a weakness. It’s a boundless well of emotion that tends to bristle at unexpected change. Our minds crave novelty, but little mishaps at the wrong time can catch us off guard. In that split second, the logical brain might step out, and raw emotion takes over, causing us to lash out or retreat.

It’s helpful to know it’s just how our wiring works, not some personal flaw. The more we acknowledge that, the easier it becomes to shift towards healthier ways of responding.

Shifting the Blame Mindset

One of the biggest insights from this toothbrush fiasco was the power of pausing. When I started beating myself up, I tried to stop and breathe. I reminded myself, “It’s a toothbrush, nothing more.” That gave my mind a second to recalibrate.

It might sound silly, but giving yourself permission to pause disrupts the blame cycle. You break free from autopilot and reclaim space to think about whether the intensity of your reaction matches what just happened. Sometimes, just 30 seconds of deep breathing can keep a small thing from overshadowing your day.

Other strategies that help:

• Grounding techniques: Close your eyes, take slow breaths, or focus on a single sound around you.
• Self-talk resets: Replace “Why do I always mess up?” with “This happens, and it’s okay.”
• Compassion breaks: Imagine how you’d respond to a friend who’s upset over something small, then apply that same warmth to yourself.

Nurturing Self-Compassion and Growth

The final lesson of this episode is about learning to extend kindness to ourselves, even when the world makes that challenging. Dyslexia and ADHD can feel like constant battles, which is why a simple act of grace can make a huge difference.

When I reflected on the toothbrush incident, I realised it was a window into how we handle blame and overreaction. Those moments can set off a domino effect of self-criticism, or they can become catalysts for change. It’s all about how we choose to see them.

It’s liberating to notice that these incidents aren’t signs that we’re destined to mess up. They’re signposts guiding us towards deeper self-awareness. If we’re willing to look beyond the surface, we uncover the thought patterns that spark those instant reactions. Then we can make small, consistent shifts in how we speak to ourselves.

• Even minor mishaps can tap into deeper feelings.
• Dyslexia and ADHD often amplify blame and overreaction.
• A short pause can disrupt emotional spirals.
• Replacing negative self-talk with gentle self-compassion helps.
• Small changes lead to breakthroughs in how we think and feel.

When you look back at those moments in your own life, ask yourself if you’ve been using them as proof you can’t get it right. What if they were actually invitations to do things differently?

If this resonates, you’ll find more insights in the full podcast episode where I share more about what happened, how I navigated the instant wave of blame, and practical steps for dealing with those emotions. The podcast player is at the top of this page if you’re ready to dive in.

Key Takeaways

• Knocking over a toothbrush is rarely about the toothbrush. It’s about deeper patterns we carry.
• Blame in dyslexia and ADHD often comes from feeling different or inadequate in everyday tasks.
• A little bit of self-compassion can go a long way towards breaking harmful cycles.
• Pausing for just a moment can transform how you react, helping you see small mistakes in a kinder light.

Ready for more aha moments? Listen to the full episode above and hear the full story. You’ll discover how an ordinary morning event turned into an eye-opening lesson on handling blame and overreaction with a bit more empathy towards ourselves.