Breaking Through The Visual Brain

Have you ever noticed that moment in a conversation when you realise you’re not really hearing the other person? Maybe your mind is racing for what to say next. This episode of the Truth About Dyslexia dives into that common habit, and explores why genuine listening can be a total game-changer.

Stephen shares a few personal stories about moments he caught himself tuning out. He also highlights how this social slip can block real growth and connection. If you’ve ever wondered why you leave some chats feeling empty or confused, this episode offers insights to help you break that pattern. It’s all about shifting from “waiting to talk” to truly hearing someone else’s perspective.

The Challenge of Real Listening

Truly listening often goes against our instinct. We can’t help but focus on our own stuff. This means our brains are busy crafting replies instead of absorbing what’s being said. We might even interrupt with our own stories or advice.

When we do that, we’re stuck in our head. We miss important cues about how someone is feeling. We might also lose the chance to learn something new or deepen a relationship.

“I felt like I was just waiting for my chance to talk, not actually hearing what was said.”

The next time you catch yourself in that loop, try pausing before jumping in. Even a few breaths can turn your attention back to the person speaking.

Accidental Me-Focus

We often assume we’re good listeners because we nod at the right times. Inside though, we might be rehearsing a witty reply. It’s normal to want to contribute and add our own spin.

The trouble starts when our ‘me-focus’ becomes the default. We see it most when we get excited or want to impress. That’s especially common for dyslexic or ADHD minds, which race with ideas and struggle to stay in the moment.

Instead of beating yourself up, just notice it. Ask, “What if I focus on the other person’s words, not just my response?” This small pivot can open up a world of connection.

The Magic of Curiosity

Being curious is a powerful way to snap out of autopilot. Instead of thinking about your next line, ask a genuine question. Let the other person expand on their story without rushing them.

Curiosity encourages you to explore instead of judge. When a friend shares a problem, for example, you might want to jump in with advice. But if you ask them to unpack how they feel, you’ll discover nuances you’d miss otherwise.

Think of curiosity as the spark that keeps a conversation alive. It also helps you slow down and truly connect. Here are a few ways to practise it:

• Reflect back what you heard and ask if you got it right.
• Say “Tell me more about that” instead of giving your own examples.
• Pause two seconds after someone finishes speaking before you respond.

Creating Real Change

If you want to develop real growth—both in yourself and in relationships—active listening is essential. When another person feels heard, they’re more open to hearing you. It builds trust and creates a two-way flow.

Stephen notes that change starts with awareness. Recognise the habit of waiting to talk, and shift it to listening. You’ll not only learn more about the people in your life but also discover surprising bits about yourself.

We all crave that feeling of being heard. Once we realise how powerful it is to listen, we can’t help but pass on that gift. It fosters empathy, patience, and mutual respect—key ingredients for personal and shared growth.

Want even more practical steps? Try these:

1. Set an intention to listen fully when you start a chat.
2. Ask open-ended questions about what the speaker feels, not just what they did.
3. Repeat or paraphrase their words before adding your thoughts.
4. Look for non-verbal cues: tone of voice, facial expressions, posture.

Key Takeaways

• Waiting to talk stops you from hearing valuable insights.
• Learn to spot your ‘me-focus’ and switch to curiosity.
• Small pauses and questions keep the conversation flowing.
• Real listening leads to deeper trust and growth.

Ready to hear more? The podcast player is at the top of this page, ready and waiting for you. Tune in for the full story, practical tips, and Stephen’s personal anecdotes on how to master true listening.