Communication, Fights And Relationships

Ever gone into a heated argument and felt your mind slip away? It’s frustrating when you know you’re capable of coming across calmly, but emotions get the better of you. This week’s podcast episode takes on a listener’s challenge from the UK, digging into why it’s so hard to keep composure when tensions rise, especially for those of us with dyslexia.

We explore a simple yet powerful technique called the Wayne Cook Posture and discuss how energy routines like Donna Eden’s can support a steadier mindset. We also unpack the science behind why fights leave us feeling so rattled, and offer practical ways to re-centre when conflict strikes.

I go a lot deeper on Dyslexics and Marriage here.

Why Fights Can Derail Dyslexic Minds

Many of us with dyslexia process information in a less linear way, which can be brilliant for creativity but challenging when arguments hit. Strong emotional triggers can throw us off course. In that flurry of tension, our brains may struggle to organise thoughts quickly. Rational words or comebacks seem to vanish right when we need them.

As one listener wrote:

“It is a struggle known to so many dyslexics that when we get into a fight, we lose ourselves and things just don’t work out.”

I get it. It can feel like you’re wrestling with your own mind, searching for the right words. This episode explores what causes that fog and how you can find clarity in the chaos.

Discovering the Wayne Cook Posture

If you’ve never heard of the Wayne Cook Posture, you’re in for something special. It’s a simple exercise where you cross one ankle over the other knee (so you can reach your foot) and hold for a few slow, deep breaths. You then switch sides. After that, place your feet on the ground, fingertips touching, and breathe again.

Here’s a short video if you’d like the visual. This posture helps re-align energy pathways that can get scrambled during conflict or stress. It’s a quick, grounding technique that helps you come back to your senses, so you can choose how to respond instead of reacting without thinking.

Handling Conflict with More Confidence

When you know stress is rising, having a quick toolkit can make all the difference. Take a moment to pause, remember a calming technique (like the Wayne Cook Posture), and give yourself the mental space you need. Here’s a handful of simple ideas:

• Pause and Breathe: Before firing off a reaction, take a slow breath in and out. Even a few seconds can diffuse tension.
• Steady Your Posture: Stand or sit up straight. Plant both feet on the ground. It tells your body to feel stable.
• Ask for Clarification: If the other person’s words fog your thoughts, ask them to repeat or clarify before you respond.
• Step Away if Needed: A short break can save you from saying something you’ll regret. Re-enter the conversation when you’ve cooled off.

It’s not about avoiding conflict, but learning to navigate it in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling drained and flustered. You might not always get it right, but a little preparation helps.

Donna Eden’s Energy Work

Donna Eden’s approach focuses on the body’s energy systems. She teaches methods to help your body process stress more efficiently. While it may sound out there at first, even simple ideas like tapping and tracing certain points on your skin can be soothing. Emotions can spin out of control when your energy is overwhelmed, so rebalancing it can settle your emotions too.

There’s no single method that solves every issue, but it’s worth experimenting. Some people find immediate calm after a few minutes of energy work. Others like blending these techniques with more traditional approaches, like taking a short walk or doing a mindful breathing exercise.

Taking It One Step at a Time

If conflict makes you anxious, remember you’re not alone. Being dyslexic often means our strengths lie in creativity and big-picture thinking, which can be a gift. However, when stress hits like a lightning bolt, we can freeze. Let these techniques become part of your routine:

1. Practise Regularly: Don’t wait until conflict arises. Keep the Wayne Cook Posture in your daily toolbox.
2. Speak Up: Tell close friends or family that you might need a moment if you get overwhelmed during a disagreement.
3. Stay Curious: Keep learning about what helps you feel centred. Everyone’s mind and body are unique.

In time, you’ll develop greater self-awareness and find that arguments don’t rattle you quite as much. After all, it’s not about never feeling tension. It’s about handling it in a calmer, more constructive way.

• Patience is key: Progress may feel slow at first, but you’ll see improvements.
• Remember your strengths: Dyslexia brings a unique perspective that others value.
• Focus on solutions: Think about what you can do, instead of what you can’t.

Key Takeaways

• Dyslexic minds can freeze during fights because of how we process stress.
• The Wayne Cook Posture helps rebalance energy and regain composure.
• Short pauses or a quick breathing exercise can defuse tension before it escalates.
• Donna Eden’s energy methods introduce a simple way to calm the body during stressful moments.
• Consistency is everything—practise these tactics even on days when you’re calm.

Curious to hear more? The podcast player at the top of the page has the full episode. Give it a listen and let me know what resonates. If you’d like to support the show, check out our Patreon page. And if you haven’t yet, visit truthaboutdyslexia.com to take our quiz and join the community on Facebook. I’d love to hear your experiences and tips too.

Until next time, stay curious and keep exploring what works for you.