Confidence Unleashed: Finding What’s Actually Holding You Back

Ever feel like confidence slips away when you need it most? You’re juggling work, family, and a mind racing with thoughts that refuse to slow down. This episode of The Truth About Dyslexia gets right to the heart of that struggle. It covers how growing up neurodiverse impacts confidence and what you can do to reconnect with that inner sense of calm and trust in yourself.

Stephen shares insights from personal experiences, including a recent session with practitioner Andre Kenny. He explores how childhood, family dynamics, and a feeling of not being fully understood have shaped his confidence. It’s a candid look at the deeper issues that can linger under the surface, even when you might think you’re fine.

Understanding Inner Confidence

It’s easy to assume confidence is just about “faking it ‘til you make it.” But what if you spent years abroad as a kid where you never felt like you quite fit in, and then returned home only to find you still didn’t fit in? That sort of start can leave you doubting yourself.

Stephen talks about how those early experiences can sow a belief that you’re different. That difference can be good, especially when it motivates you to see the world in fresh ways. But it can also stir up anxiety and self-doubt, especially if you’re navigating dyslexia or ADHD. Confidence can seem like a fragile thing, almost fleeting at times.

In the podcast, Stephen said,

“When you’ve been misunderstood, it’s easy to lose faith in your own voice. You start doubting if anyone really gets you.”

This episode challenges the idea that confidence is only about how you appear on the outside. Instead, it’s about the stories you carry, the feelings you’ve internalised, and the moments you’ve been brushed off or not taken seriously.

The Role of Childhood and Family Dynamics

Family can shape confidence in subtle ways. Stephen recalls how his father’s communication style sometimes left him feeling uncertain. Maybe you’ve experienced something similar. A parent’s abrupt words or lack of warmth can spark that small voice inside you that says, “I’m not enough.”

For Stephen, it started when he moved abroad. He returned home to different cultural cues and a dad who had his own challenges expressing affection. As an adult, you might point to old events and say, “That’s in the past.” But if those events taught you to second-guess yourself, they’re still quietly affecting how you feel right now.

The podcast explains that these family influences aren’t always about wrongdoing. Parents are human. They may not realise how much an offhand remark can hurt a child with a sensitive, neurodiverse mind. By acknowledging these childhood layers, you can start peeling back the barriers that stop you from feeling genuinely confident.

Looking Beneath the Surface

It’s tempting to look for quick hacks to boost confidence, like changing your morning routine or doing positive affirmations. Those things help. But as Stephen discovered in his latest sessions with Andre Kenny, you also need to examine the underlying beliefs that shape your day-to-day thinking.

Sometimes therapy feels uncomfortable. You might uncover a memory you’ve avoided or experience emotions you’ve shoved aside. Though this discomfort can cause anxiety, it also signals you’re hitting on something important. Shining a light on forgotten feelings helps you see how your mind created patterns to protect itself. When you understand those patterns, you can start remapping them in healthier ways.

If you keep ignoring the deeper stuff, you might solve your immediate struggles, but those old anxieties will keep turning up. Therapy forces you to acknowledge the source of your self-doubt, so you can finally move forward. Stephen emphasises going beyond surface-level changes, because confidence is more than just appearing bold to others. It’s about trusting your strengths, even when facing life’s twists and turns.

Embracing Vulnerability for Growth

Vulnerability is risky. You might fear being judged or misunderstood. When you’re neurodiverse, that fear can double. You might wonder if people see you as lazy, disorganised, or unfocused. It’s easier to mask those insecurities than to talk about them.

But Stephen explains that real growth happens when you open up about the hard stuff. Saying, “I struggle to trust myself” can feel like stepping into the spotlight. Still, that’s how you make space for change. Recognising you need support or therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.

So why not explore these deeper questions? When you give yourself permission to be honest, you’ll often discover you’re far more capable than you realised. You begin to believe that your voice matters, whether you’re solving problems at work or expressing your feelings at home.

• The best confidence tips often start with acknowledging what’s unresolved inside you.
• Neurodiversity can bring unique challenges but also powerful creativity and empathy.
• Don’t be afraid to seek professional help; it doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re growing.

Every person has a journey. And, as Stephen points out, addressing confidence is not a one-time fix. It’s an ongoing process of self-discovery, which can unlock deeper levels of clarity and contentment.

• Recognising the Challenge: Confidence matters deeply when you’re living with dyslexia or ADHD. It helps you handle day-to-day obstacles and reach your goals.
• Personal Journey: Stephen’s story shows how self-assurance can rise and fall based on childhood experiences, including family interactions that stick with you.
• Holistic Approach: True confidence requires work on both external habits and internal beliefs. Neither alone solves everything.
• Impact of Childhood: Your early environment sets the stage. If you grew up feeling unheard, that can still affect you at work or in relationships.
• Therapy Helps: Connecting with a therapist who understands neurodiversity can unearth hidden layers. Those insights can be life-changing.
• Vulnerability: Sharing your real feelings can be tough, but it’s key to building genuine confidence.

At the end of the day, it’s about believing you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. You can address old hurts, rewire your reactions, and provide yourself the kindness you might’ve missed growing up. This exploration doesn’t have to be scary. It can be liberating.

Ready to dive deeper? Confidence is more than a quick fix. It’s a journey that can improve your relationships, career, and overall emotional wellbeing. If you’d like to hear more about Stephen’s personal stories, the role his father’s words played, and how therapy sessions with Andre helped uncover hidden barriers, check out the full episode of The Truth About Dyslexia.

If you want to explore these topics further, visit truthaboutdyslexia.com for additional resources and insights. You can also join our Facebook group to connect with a supportive community of adults who understand your journey.

Ready for More? Give the podcast a listen. You’ll find the player waiting for you at the top of this page. Discover how vulnerability, introspection, and the right kind of support can help you embrace your confidence, rather than hide from it.