Coping Strategy #9: Self-permission

If you're someone who constantly says, “I can’t believe I messed this up again,” then this episode is for you. Learning how to be kind to ourselves is often the missing piece in the dyslexia puzzle. It’s easy to shower others with compassion while being our harshest critic. This podcast takes a closer look at why we do this and offers empathetic tips for easing the pressure.

In this episode, I share how discovering self-kindness felt like a shift in my entire outlook. We talk about letting go of perfection, recognising our internal chatter, and giving ourselves space to make mistakes. Below is a quick roundup of the main points and ways you can put them into action.

What Self-Compassion Really Means

Most of us have heard about self-love, but it can be a vague concept. Self-compassion is more about daily micro-actions than grand gestures. It’s taking a deep breath when you feel the urge to criticise yourself. It’s swapping a harsh thought for a supportive one. It’s reminding yourself you’re allowed to stumble as you learn.

In the podcast, I stress how dyslexia commonly leads to perfectionism. We think we must work twice as hard to appear “normal.” Then, the moment a mistake pops up, we go into meltdown mode. That’s where self-compassion steps in to help you catch your breath and shift your mind-set.

“When I worked out how to do this, it felt like Panadol for the soul.”

Why Dyslexia Challenges Our Self-Kindness

You’d think that if we’re kind to others, being kind to ourselves would be a breeze. Yet for many neurodiverse folks, the opposite is true.

Some common reasons:

• Our internal voice is stuck on past mistakes.
• We compare ourselves to a “normal” standard that’s unrealistic.
• Nervousness about new tasks, because past attempts felt like failures.
• Feedback from others that we’re “not trying hard enough,” which can add to guilt.

Understanding that dyslexia is a different way of processing, not a fault, is critical here. We’re not broken. We just do things differently—even if it sometimes takes a bit more time or a different strategy.

Practical Ways To Show Yourself More Love

We need real tools, right? Words like “be kind to yourself” can sound abstract. Here are a few ways to make them more concrete.

1. Catch Your Inner Critic Quickly
   Notice the moment you tell yourself you’re “useless.” Replace it with something more balanced. Even “I made a mistake, but I'm learning every day” is a great start.
2. Create Personal Affirmations
   If you wake up dreading the day, remind yourself: “It’s okay to struggle sometimes.” Write it on a Post-it or make it a phone reminder.
3. Reward Small Wins
   Did you finish an email without major spelling hiccups? Celebrate it. Small victories matter to your brain chemistry.
4. Talk To A Friend Or Support Group
   Dyslexia can be isolating if you keep it all inside. Share how you’re feeling—chances are you’ll find others who’ve been there and made it out stronger.

Little by little, these rides of self-compassion become second nature. If you slip up, no big deal—just try again tomorrow. That’s what being kind to yourself means.

Putting It All Together

It’s tempting to brush off self-kindness as “nice but not important.” That’s the lie many of us believe. In reality, showing yourself grace is as vital as breathing, especially when dyslexia keeps reminding you of what you’ve done wrong.

By holding yourself to a kinder, more realistic standard, you’ll find tasks become easier and your stress levels drop. You’ll also discover that mistakes are learning curves, not end points.

• You don’t have to be perfect, different minds learn in different ways.
• Self-compassion starts with your daily thought patterns.
• Neurodiversity is an asset when paired with patience and understanding.
• Being kind to yourself fuels your confidence long term.

Takeaways

• Self-kindness is a skill, not a luxury.
• We often show others more forgiveness than we show ourselves.
• Shifting that inner voice makes a real difference.
• Don’t dismiss small steps—they add up.
• Connection with others helps you heal faster.

Ready to dive deeper? Treat yourself to the full episode and hear more ways to give your mind the respite it deserves. You can find the podcast audio player at the top of this page. Tune in, take what helps, and watch your life transform one gentle thought at a time.