Fault, Blame And Pain

Have you ever felt like people blame you for things that aren’t really your fault? I’ve been there. In today’s episode, I dive into how blame weighs heavily on a dyslexic mind and what happens when we carry that burden for far too long.

During the conversation, I share my own experiences of being labelled in school and at work, and how blame nearly derailed my self-confidence. It’s a deep look at the ways blame seeps into relationships, shapes how we see ourselves, and stops us from doing our best work. But if we learn to recognise blame’s sneaky effects, we’re well on our way to healing.

Why Blame Is So Harmful

Blame creates a cloud over everything we do. We become hyper-vigilant. We doubt ourselves even when we’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a mental weight that can impact how we speak up in meetings and how we connect with loved ones.

As dyslexics, we’re already balancing extra challenges like managing spelling, reading instructions, or trying not to zone out. When blame enters the picture, it adds an extra layer of stress. Imagine going through your day convinced you’ll be singled out for any slip-up. That pressure is huge.

“I realised I was carrying blame that didn’t belong to me. It was dragging me down without me even knowing.”

How Blame Affects Our Relationships

Relationships breathe trust and understanding. But blame can poison the well. When you’re on the receiving end of constant blame, conversations can turn sour fast. You might snap at a partner or avoid opening up at work. The fear of letting others down becomes so strong that you’d rather shut down before you make a mistake.

What’s worse is that friends or family might think we’re just being stubborn. They can’t see the internal battles we fight because dyslexia isn’t visible in the same way as a broken arm. That’s why a bit of compassion from both sides is a game-changer.

Breaking the Cycle of Self-Blame

For many of us, blame is an old habit. We might not even notice how often we blame ourselves or how negative our self-talk can be. During the podcast, I discuss a few ways I started to break that cycle. One of the biggest was simply recognising that “I’m not a failure if I make mistakes.”

If we blame ourselves for everything, we’re left with no room to learn. It’s like we block the path to personal growth. When we loosen the grip of blame, we open up to new ideas, skills, and acceptance. Taking responsibility for our progress doesn’t mean blaming ourselves. It means we approach problems with curiosity, not judgement.

The Power of Acknowledgement

I also explore the concept of acknowledgement, which is one of the biggest factors that helped me find peace. When we acknowledge our challenges, we reduce shame. We’re giving a name to our struggle rather than pretending it doesn’t exist. It replaces that old voice of blame with an honest, empowering perspective.

Instead of silently criticising ourselves, we’re saying, “Yes, this is real. Yes, it’s challenging. And yes, I can find ways to move forward.” We can still hold ourselves accountable without punishing ourselves.

Practical Shifts to Reduce Blame

If you’re wondering how to build a more blame-free environment for yourself, consider these changes:

• Acknowledge what’s yours. Recognise which parts of a mistake are truly on you, and which parts aren’t. This keeps self-blame in check.
• Speak up early. If you sense a misunderstanding brewing, clarify it. Don’t wait for blame to spiral.
• Set clear boundaries. Not everyone understands dyslexia right away. Sometimes you need to explain what support looks like for you.
• Find allies. Surround yourself with people who get it. Seek out mentors, friends, or colleagues who cheer you on.

By focusing on these small steps, you’ll feel less weighed down by external negativity and more in control of your personal narrative.

Common Myths About Blame and Dyslexia

Because dyslexia isn’t always obvious to others, there are a few misunderstandings that can fuel blame. Let’s bust some of these myths:

1. Dyslexia means you’re lazy. This just isn’t true. Dyslexia affects reading, writing or processing speed, not motivation.
2. You should be able to just “try harder.” Hard work is great, but dyslexia doesn’t vanish with effort alone. We still need strategies.
3. All dyslexics face the same struggles. Everyone’s different. Some people feel more tension around blame than others.

Recognising these myths helps lessen the idea of personal fault or shortcoming. It’s a reminder that your unique brain wiring isn’t a flaw, it just needs the right approach.

Takeaways

• Blame is a serious obstacle to emotional wellbeing.
• It impacts our confidence at work and our personal relationships.
• Self-awareness and open communication stop blame from taking over our lives.
• Acknowledgement is the first step toward self-compassion and growth.

Ready to dive deeper? The podcast player is right above this post, so give it a listen. I share more stories on how I recognised and handled blame in my life and what steps you can take today. If you’re looking for practical insights and a real conversation about living with dyslexia, you’ll find it in this episode.

Have a listen, and let me know what resonated with you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences too.