Feeling Judged With Neurodiversity

Have you ever felt like the world was judging you for thinking a bit differently? It’s a feeling many of us with dyslexia, ADHD, or other forms of neurodiversity share. In a recent podcast episode, Stephen Martin and André Kenney open up about how this judgment can weigh on us, what it feels like, and how we can shift the stories we tell ourselves.

They share personal stories of feeling separate from the rest of society and the ways they’ve learned to cope. It’s an honest conversation about juggling external opinions, self-criticism, and the constant search for calm. By focusing on self-acceptance and practising simple techniques to quiet our minds, we can chip away at the burden of judgment.

The Struggle of Feeling Judged

Judgment from others can cut deep. It’s often rooted in simple misunderstandings. Neurodiverse adults may worry about messing up at work, forgetting details, or processing information more slowly. When you sense a raised eyebrow or see that odd look, it’s easy to feel like you’re getting it wrong.

But Stephen and André remind us that self-judgment is usually the heavier load to carry. Instead of just dealing with external stereotypes, we carry an internal story that says we should “do better” or “be more normal.” That story can leave us anxious and disconnected.

“Sometimes the loudest judgment is the one we place on ourselves, and that's the part we have the most power to change.”

They discuss how having ADHD or dyslexia can lead to snap decisions and quick emotional reactions. Yet with the right mindset, we can challenge our old beliefs. After all, recognising our unique brains is half the battle.

Flipping the Script

We might assume that everyone else sees our quirks as flaws. In reality, many people view our creativity and resilience as strengths. By changing our own perspective first, we can shift how we respond to others.

This begins by naming the negative thoughts. Notice if your mind is stuck in a loop of self-criticism. Then try talking back. Stephen mentions using positive affirmations or reframing negative judgments into curious questions. For instance, instead of “I’m so scattered,” ask, “How can I use my variety of thoughts to my advantage right now?”

Over time, these little shifts can reduce the weight of judgment. They restore a sense of calm. They also let us tap into the unique insights that come from being neurodiverse.

Tools to Calm the Mind

Stephen and André stress the value of practical tools. It can be as simple as taking deep breaths when stress starts to build. Soft music, mindfulness apps, or a quick walk can also work wonders.

• Meditation: Even a few minutes of quiet breathing can centre you.
• Visual Reminders: Sticky notes with kind words can keep you on track.
• Physical Activity: A brisk walk or dance break can reset your mood.

You don’t have to master every tool. Find one or two that resonate, then keep them handy in moments of stress. This helps dial down anxious thoughts. You might not control the world’s judgments, but you can control how you respond.

Leadership and Role Models

The episode also touches on the power of stepping forward as leaders. Neurodiverse adults who share their stories—both successes and frustrations—offer hope to others. It’s not about fighting for attention. It’s about showing that judgment doesn’t have the final say.

When leaders openly discuss ADHD or dyslexia, they become living examples of persistence. They also show that traits like creativity, tenacity, and empathy matter just as much as traditional measures of intelligence.

By speaking up, we encourage acceptance in more workplaces and communities. We remind people that real strength lies in embracing different approaches to thinking, problem-solving, and living.

Embrace Your Strengths

Many of us fixate on what we can’t do rather than celebrating what we do well. Recognising our tenacity is often the key. Neurodiverse adults are known for bouncing back from challenges, finding inventive solutions, and forging new ways to learn.

Sometimes, it helps to list the qualities you’re proud of. Maybe you have a knack for connecting people or seeing patterns others miss. These are qualities worth nurturing.

The hosts close by reminding us not to judge ourselves so harshly. Everyone’s mind works in unique ways. Rather than hiding differences, let’s connect with others on the same path and remind ourselves we’re not alone.

• Changing the Story: How we talk to ourselves affects how we feel about judgment.
• Seeking Calm: Even simple breathing exercises help ease tension.
• Being Leaders: Neurodiverse adults can be role models by sharing their journeys.
• Celebrating Grit: Recognise your perseverance and unique problem-solving skills.

Takeaways

• We often feel more judged by ourselves than by others.
• A few mindful tools go a long way in easing stress.
• Shifting our internal narrative turns judgment into fuel for growth.
• When leaders own their neurodiversity, it normalises difference for everyone.
• We’re stronger and more resourceful than we give ourselves credit for.

Ready to dive deeper into these insights? Join Stephen and André by listening to the full episode. It’s a relatable chat for anyone who’s ever felt misunderstood. Once you’re done, check out the links below for more support and community.

Find out more about Andrée Kenny and her work with ADHD & Dyslexia at https://andreekenny.com.

If you want to find out more visit:
truthaboutdyslexia.com

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facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia