
#hpd - Deep Deep Self Talk
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This episode took a sharp turn. I set out with one plan but ended up exploring a big personal challenge I’ve been avoiding. It felt awkward, yet it was worth pressing record anyway.
You’ll hear about a problem many of us face: negative self-talk and labels that don’t serve us. I share a specific tool I’ve started using to handle the friction I was experiencing with thoughts like “I can’t do that” or “I’m not good enough.” It’s a work in progress, but it’s helping me see how I can create space for something different.
Facing Unexpected Challenges
I thought I’d talk about something light and breezy this morning, but life had other plans. When I hit the record button, I noticed a lot of resistance in my head. A certain dialogue kept popping up, telling me I was out of my depth and that the plan wouldn’t work.
If you’ve ever found yourself doubting your abilities at the last minute, you’ll know the feeling. That sneaky inner voice likes to twist things around until we believe we’re not capable. The truth is our brains will latch onto any old story if we let them.
"This was a super hard episode to record, it was not the episode I set out to record this morning I can tell you that!"
Recognising Negative Self-Talk
It’s easy to slip into a loop of “I’m fat” or “I’m too slow” or “I can’t speak clearly.” These statements reinforce unhelpful beliefs. Over time they become heavy labels that trap us.
When you notice that internal voice telling you what you can’t do, pause for a second. It might help to literally name the voice as something like “my worried brain” or “old habits.” By giving it a label, you can see that it’s just a pattern, not the absolute truth.
Embracing a Powerful Tool
I mentioned I’ve been trying a method to shift this type of thinking. The idea is to create a bit of space between the words you say to yourself and how you feel about them. Instead of saying “I am slow,” you might say “I notice I’m having the thought that I’m slow.”
That subtle change separates you from the negative label. It reminds you the thought is simply that—a thought. You can use this whenever you catch the unhelpful chatter in your mind. A quick moment of awareness can make all the difference.
- Pause and acknowledge the thought
- Shift the wording to “I notice I’m having the thought…”
- See the label as separate from who you really are
Building Confidence Step by Step
Once you break the cycle of negative self-talk, you can start replacing it with healthier habits. For example, you might tell yourself: “I’m trying something new and I’m learning as I go.” It’s honest without being self-defeating. An improvement in your outlook leads to fresh motivation.
You can also set small, measurable goals. If your struggle is with fitness, try a simple walk each day. If your friction is around reading, set aside five minutes every day. That micro action may seem small, yet it builds trust that you can keep your word to yourself.
- Set a small goal (walk around the block or read for five minutes)
- Celebrate the mini victory
- Repeat and gradually expand
Over time your mind starts to realise you do have what it takes. That new sense of faith grows one step at a time.
Finding Encouragement
We’re often our own worst critics. It helps to share this journey with others who understand. A simple conversation can make you see you’re not alone in dealing with doubt. When you open up, you discover other people’s stories can lift you up too.
Stick with exploring new approaches. Learning to view those negative labels as separate from who you are will guide you through big changes. Some days it’s a breeze. Other days it feels impossible. Keep going. That sense of friction often means you’re pushing for growth.
- Recognise your negative labels before they become deeply ingrained
- Use the “I notice I’m having the thought…” tool to create space
- Start small with new habits and build steadily
- Lean on others, whether friends, family, or online groups
- Keep experimenting with methods until you find a rhythm
If you’d like to hear the full conversation and get the nitty-gritty details, it’s all in the podcast above. Give it a listen and see if something clicks. You might discover a spark that helps you move past your own friction and into a better headspace.