Selfish One Day, Selfless The Next

Ever feel like one moment you’re on top of the world, then you wake up the next morning feeling so small you could curl into the foetal position? You’re not alone. In this episode, we delve into the wild swings of mood, how they can be oddly reassuring, and why they might hold the key to a more balanced life.

We explore the idea that you can’t achieve a perfect equilibrium by living at only one extreme. Instead, you might need to embrace both sides of your nature. You’ll hear how a lightbulb moment sparked the idea that balance isn’t about standing still—it’s about seeing the beauty in both your best and worst days.

The Emotional Pendulum

One of the most striking parts of the episode is the way the host describes those dizzying shifts. One day you might feel saintly, kind, and capable. The next day, you find yourself drained and unsure. This swing can feel alarming, but sometimes it’s a sign you’re growing.

“It’s not just about being a halo-wearing goodie two-shoes or a curled-up ball of emotions. It’s both. That’s the chaotic dance we’re here to learn from.”

That quote highlights a central theme: true growth happens when you can hold space for both versions of yourself. There’s no need to pick one side permanently. Feeling like a saint can inspire you, but feeling awful can also be a stepping stone to deeper self-knowledge.

Why We Swing So Wildly

Have you noticed how your mood changes fastest when you’re stressed or juggling too much? The host points out that it’s easy to fixate on one extreme or the other. Yet these highs and lows often reflect the body’s natural craving for a break or for a spark of inspiration.

• Stress levels can fuel dramatic mood shifts.
• Daily demands can push you to burn out or seek escape.
• Periods of intense creativity might precede energy slumps.

If you’ve been feeling like it’s all or nothing, recognising these rhythms can ease the guilt. The swings aren’t always proof something’s wrong. They might just be a sign your mind needs a shift in gears.

Embracing the Messy Middle

The host painted a vivid picture of how living in extremes can lose its charm if you never come back to centre. Yet, finding that middle ground doesn’t mean sticking to a rigid checklist or schedule. It might just mean pausing to notice how you actually feel, instead of forcing yourself to perform a role.

Sometimes this means learning to speak kindly to yourself or stepping back from expectations that no longer fit. Worrying less about labels—like “good” and “bad”—can let you experience more calm. It’s not about ignoring your swings but about finding some breathing room in the midst of them.

Self-Compassion and Vision

The episode also touched on what can happen when you’re too hard on yourself. Over time, being in a whirlwind of self-criticism can drain your energy. You might feel unworthy on your ‘bad days’ or smug on your ‘good days.’ But what if you replaced that harsh voice with compassion?

According to the host, self-compassion isn’t self-indulgent or lazy. It’s an anchor, helping you ride the waves with more insight. When you have a vision of how you want to live—kind yet real—you can give yourself permission to discover both the saint and the mourner in you. They both have lessons to teach you.

Finding Your Personal Rhythm

We all have different ways of responding to life’s twists and turns. Some people bounce back quickly, while others need more reflection. The host suggests giving yourself enough freedom to explore what works for you, even if it looks chaotic from the outside. Try small daily experiments, like journalling or changing up your environment, to see if you can make sense of the swings.

Sometimes you’ll find methods that calm you, sometimes you won’t. The point is to learn by doing, rather than punishing yourself when you misstep.

• Pause and breathe before judging your own feelings.
• Be open to switching tactics if you feel stuck.
• Reflect on highs and lows to see what triggers them.

Balance can be messy. That’s okay. When you embrace it, you can glean surprising insights from even your toughest days.

• Mood swings aren’t a sign of weakness—they can be natural checks and balances.
• It’s possible to learn from both extremes—each one can offer vital lessons.
• Self-compassion is essential—it anchors you when you feel unsteady.
• Trust your own process—experiment with small actions for big perspective shifts.

If you’re keen to hear the full conversation and experience the host’s warmth and insight, the podcast player is at the top of this page. Tune in to soak up even more practical tips and personal stories, and let us know in the comments how you navigate your own saintly and stormy days.