Stopping Fights Over Nothing

Ever found yourself in the same argument over and over, wondering why it never gets resolved? Sometimes we're not even talking about the same thing. That mismatch is confusing at the best of times, but for those of us with dyslexia, it can get far more tangled than we expect.

This episode dives into why people with dyslexia may end up on a completely different page to those around them. It also breaks down a simple tip to begin navigating those frustrating moments. If you’ve ever felt like your brain is off on its own adventure mid-conversation, this one’s for you.

Why Arguments Go Off Track

Arguments tend to veer off track when two people think they’re talking about the same issue, but in reality they’re discussing two different problems. You might be stuck on that thing that went wrong yesterday, while the other person is looking to solve tomorrow’s challenges. When these perspectives collide, it creates confusion that’s hard to untangle.

If dyslexia is in the mix, you might find it even trickier to pinpoint where everyone’s focus lies. Our dyslexic minds tend to jump ahead or get stuck in loops. By the time we speak up, the conversation may have moved on. That can spark disagreements, especially if the other person assumes you’re responding to something else entirely.

The Dyslexia Twist

Dyslexia is not just about reading and writing. It’s also about how our brains process and link ideas. Our minds can be brilliant at lateral thinking, but in everyday conversations that often means we’re zigzagging across a few topics at once. This can lead to blurred lines in our communication.

Even with the best intentions, you could be stewing on one detail while everyone else has moved forward. Or you might jump to a brand-new point, leaving others behind. Before you know it, you’re arguing about something you thought was obvious, yet it’s clear as mud to everyone else.

“Communication is a minefield for dyslexics, especially when you’re stuck in that swirl of words.”

How to Get on the Same Page

Let’s face it, it feels awful when you’re misunderstood. We want to be heard, but sometimes we need to guide others so they see the full picture in our heads. Here’s a simple tip to start bridging that gap: actively label the topic before you dive in.

• Say, “I want to talk about the deadline from last week.” This helps everyone know you’re focusing on the past.
• If you shift topics, say, “Now I’m moving on to next month’s concern.” That signpost helps others follow the discussion.
• Ask the person you’re talking to for confirmation. Give them space to reflect and agree before you move on.

Though it can feel like an extra step, it saves time. Label the topic, confirm understanding, then proceed. That clarity can stop a small disagreement from growing into a messy conflict.

Practical Strategies for Peace

Instead of waiting until things get heated, there are a few other ways to keep the conversation flowing smoothly. Think of these like traffic lights, reminding you to slow down and check if you’re on the right road.

1. Ask Clarifying Questions: Instead of making assumptions, try, “Are we talking about yesterday’s issue or today’s plan?” This small question can align your thinking.
2. Share Your Thought Process: If you jumped from A to Z in a flash, let others know how you got there. Even a quick sentence can keep everyone on board.
3. Use Reminders or Notes: If your brain splices multiple topics, jot them down. This short list helps keep you focused on the main point.
4. Pause and Recap: After a few minutes, pause and ask, “So we’re on the same page, right?” Then briefly summarise both viewpoints. It’s a simple check-in that prevents misunderstandings.

These strategies might sound obvious, but they work. And if you’re dyslexic, they help you calm the mental whirlwind so you can be clear and concise.

Final Thoughts

Being misunderstood can be exhausting. It can even make you question if you’re just too ‘different’ to get your point across. You’re not alone, though. Dyslexia doesn’t have to be a barrier to healthy communication. That awareness can be the first step toward smoothing out conversations and getting your ideas heard.

Here are a few takeaways to keep in mind:

• When you’re at odds, pause and figure out what each person is actually talking about.
• Actively label the topic or question so you both start in the same place.
• Use clarifying strategies like short notes, recap moments, and open questions.
• Recognise that your dyslexic brain may jump around. That’s okay, you just need to bring others with you.

If this resonated with you, or if you know someone who’d benefit from this advice, tune in to the full episode. You'll hear more personal stories, laughter over past miscommunications, and practical tips that you can put into action today. Don’t miss it—give it a listen!