That Independent Dyslexic Mindset

Have you ever felt so independent that asking for help almost feels like admitting defeat? I found myself caught in that mental loop, trying to go it alone and then wondering why I was exhausted. This podcast episode explores the idea of excessive independence among dyslexics and how it can hold us back from growth.

We'll reflect on what sometimes makes us unable to reach out, and we'll also look at how accepting help can transform our experiences. If you're prone to saying, “No thanks, I’ve got this,” even when you’d love a helping hand, keep reading. You might find you’re not alone, and there’s a path to greater ease.

The Trouble with Being “Super Independent”

Being independent can feel like a badge of honour. You handle things on your own, and you rarely let on that you’re overwhelmed. It’s a big part of many dyslexic minds, but it can also leave close friends and family locked out of your struggles.

In the episode, I shared a moment where my inner voice went: “You don’t need to burden others with this.” But that very thought sometimes builds a wall between you and genuine connection. Independence is brilliant, but the extreme version can zap your energy and, ironically, limit your potential.

“Now not everyone is like this outwardly. But I find myself being super independent. I struggle to ask for help and it has really started going across my mind. I wanted to talk it out so guess who gets to listen... you lot.”

Looking at where this habit came from is important, especially if you’ve spent much of your life learning to adapt to a non-dyslexic world. Trying to appear strong might feel safer than admitting you want a hand sometimes.

Why We Avoid Reaching Out

When you hate asking for help, you might wonder why you do it. We covered a few common reasons in the podcast:

• Fear of Looking Weak: The idea of vulnerability can be uncomfortable, so we’d rather go it alone.
• Negative Past Experiences: If you’ve asked for help before and felt judged, it can leave you hesitant next time.
• Belief in Self-Sufficiency: You’ve solved problems your way for years, so you assume you’re better off by yourself.
• Worrying About Other People’s Time: You might think you’re being a burden, so you stay silent.

These reasons can look small at first, but they build up over time. If you recognise even one of them in your life, you’re already more aware. That awareness brings you closer to a solution.

How Embracing Help Opens New Possibilities

Nobody wants to admit to feeling lost, but the truth is, getting support will often speed things up and bring clarity. During the chat, I noticed how simpler tasks can become huge time-sinks if I never ask for help. A quick pointer from a friend can do wonders.

Embracing help doesn’t have to mean exposing all your vulnerabilities. It starts with smaller steps:

1. Identify One Area for Assistance: Maybe it’s proofreading that email or organising your workspace. Begin there.
2. Reach Out to a Trusted Person: Whether it’s a close friend, a coach, or a community group, say what you need, and be clear.
3. Reflect on the Outcome: Notice how you feel after you get that boost. It can be freeing to see that people usually want to help.

This can apply to personal life or work. You don’t need to make a giant leap. Just open that door a crack and see what happens.

Tools & Strategies for Shifting Your Mindset

Changing a habit that’s been with you for ages wouldn’t happen overnight, but there are ways to make it easier:

• Mindset Recalibration: Try catching negative self-talk before it settles in. For instance, if you hear yourself saying, “I’ll look weak,” counter it with something like, “I gain more time and less stress by asking for help.”
• Safe Practice Spaces: Join a supportive community (like our private Facebook group) where dyslexics share struggles and wins. It feels safer to ask for help among people who get it.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Every time you allow someone to lighten your load, celebrate that brave choice. Over time, these small wins rewire your thinking about independence.
• Use Technology Wisely: Tools like readers, dictation software, or planning apps can make tasks less daunting. Accepting tech help can be a gateway to accepting help from people too.

Mindset shifts are often best handled in small, consistent steps. The more you practise, the easier it becomes to see support as a gift rather than a burden.

Taking a Pause for Reflection

Sometimes you need to give yourself space to process a new idea. Think about an area in your life that feels overloaded or stressful. Now imagine how it’d look if you let someone in.

Would you have more time or less stress? Would you gain new insights from fresh perspectives? If your response is even slightly “Yes,” it’s worth experimenting. You can always revisit your approach if it feels uncomfortable, but you might be pleasantly surprised at the relief it brings.

The podcast dives deeper into these reflections. If you catch yourself resisting the thought of reaching out, know that this is a very human trait, especially among fellow dyslexics like us. You aren’t alone in feeling you need to tackle everything yourself.

• Independence is admirable, but not at the expense of your wellbeing.
• Recognise why you resist help to pave the way for change.
• Taking small steps can transform your work and relationships.
• Community and technology are powerful tools that reduce resistance.
• Self-awareness opens the door to better balance and happier days.

We chat about all these points in detail in the episode you’ll find at the top of the page. It’s a real conversation, with raw honesty and little things you can try straight away.

Ready to dig deeper? Have a listen to the full episode. While you’re here, think about signing up for our next Webinar Video Series on Building Confidence as a Dyslexic. You’ll also find links to courses and our private Facebook community where we share tips and learn together. You don’t have to go it alone, no matter how independent you are.

Call to Action: Scroll up to the podcast player and dive into the episode. Let’s keep reminding each other that independence has its place, but help is part of the journey too.