The Dream Of Control
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Do you ever feel like you’re clinging to control and can’t let go? Our dyslexic minds can push us to grip even tighter when uncertainty creeps in. In this episode, we dive into where that need springs from and how softening your hold can open new possibilities. We explore how safety plays a big part in that urge to control and why acknowledging this hidden motivator is a step toward growth.
Key insights include spotting the signs that we’re obsessing over control and finding healthier ways to handle those anxious feelings. It’s not about blaming yourself. It’s about learning to channel that drive into something that supports your well-being. Below is a short breakdown of what we covered.
Understanding the Need for Control
Control often feels like an anchor when our minds swirl with dyslexia’s everyday challenges. We look for stability in routines or habits, hoping these will keep surprises at bay.
Sometimes, it’s a natural response to cope with nagging doubts or the fear of being misunderstood. Yet being hyper-focused on control can become tiring and isolating. When we stop to ask, “What am I really afraid of?” we start to see the root cause more clearly.
“When we think about control, we’re actually trying to find that sense of safety. It’s like clinging to a lifeboat that might not even be taking us where we want to go.”
Signs You’re Holding On Too Tight
Ever notice how certain situations trigger a deeper need to be in charge? It might be a group project at work or a family gathering. Spotting those patterns helps you step back and decide if you truly need to keep all the balls in the air.
- You feel uneasy when plans shift unexpectedly.
- Others call you out for micromanaging or over-planning.
- You sense your stress spiking in unstructured settings.
Recognising these signs is a great first step. It means you know when it’s time to breathe and reflect on what’s truly happening.
Letting Go and Finding Real Safety
Control might seem like protection, but it can also keep joy and connection out. Think of it like wearing armour all day. It’s exhausting. Allowing yourself to feel a little vulnerable can actually lead to greater peace.
Try a quick check-in: “Am I trying to control this out of fear or a genuine need?” If it’s fear, try a small experiment. Step back and see if the world keeps spinning. Most of the time, people are more supportive than we expect.
- Challenge one moment of micromanaging each day.
- Share a small concern with someone, rather than bottling it.
- Test a new routine that encourages healthy uncertainty, like taking a walk without a plan.
Cultivating Tools for Happier Days
Putting less focus on control doesn’t mean drifting through life. It means shifting your energy to practices that build true confidence. You could try mindful activities like journalling or short meditations. Some people find breathwork helps them calm racing thoughts.
There’s also value in celebrating yourself. Notice your progress each week. Maybe you stepped away from leading every meeting. Perhaps you let someone else set the dinner menu. These small victories matter.
- Stay curious about your real motives for control
- Practise letting small things go first
- Trust that real safety is built over time
- Ask for support when you feel overwhelmed
Ready for more? Listen to the full episode for an even deeper look into how control plays out in our dyslexic experience. The podcast player is right at the top of this page. Tune in and learn more about how letting go sets you free and opens the door to genuine connection.
