The Struggle To Delegate - At Work, In Relationships And Life

Struggling with control can feel like a tug-of-war inside your mind. One moment, you desperately want to keep every detail in check; the next, it all slips away, and you let go completely. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us with dyslexia and other neurodiverse traits juggle extremes when it comes to being in charge.

In this episode, I take a close look at how balance can help us navigate those highs and lows of control. You’ll hear about the awkward missteps I’ve taken, alongside the small wins that made a huge difference. We talk about why that control switch flips so drastically—and how you can bring it back to a more comfortable middle. If you’re ready to calm the chaos and reclaim a bit of sanity, this one’s for you.

Why We Struggle With Control

Dyslexia tends to amplify everyday stressors, making it tough to find your footing when you’re juggling responsibilities. Some days you’re strong and steady, other days you overcompensate to hold things together.

“I used to feel like I had to control every single aspect of my life or I’d get completely lost.”

Feeling that everything is chaotic can drive us to tighten the reins. We cling to anything that feels predictable, hoping that will soothe our fears of falling behind. On the flip side, when we sense it’s all too much, we might just give up control altogether. It’s a tricky cycle to break, but becoming aware of it is a good first step.

Recognising Our Reactions

It helps to take a moment and ask yourself: “Am I overdoing it or am I doing nothing at all?” You might spot patterns like these:

• Overplanning every part of your day, then feeling lost when things change.
• Piling on projects or hobbies, then abandoning them when it gets tough.
• Avoiding tasks altogether and telling yourself you’ll deal with them later.

Signs of rising stress often appear before you fully lose control. Maybe your mind scrambles and you can’t focus, or you snap at someone who asks for help. Recognise these moments and see if you can pause. A short break or a small adjustment to your plan might keep things in check.

Embracing Balance

No one said finding balance would be easy, especially when your brain already bounces between peaks and valleys. Still, there are steps you can take to make it more natural:

1. Set a limit on perfection: A rough draft that exists is better than a perfect idea stuck in your head.
2. Try regular reflection: Jot down a quick journal entry or voice note about yesterday’s highs and lows. It’s amazing what awareness can do.
3. Focus on progress, not completion: Celebrate small milestones. Finishing a single task can feel like a massive achievement when you’re used to an all-or-nothing approach.

Balance is about letting yourself be flexible without surrendering your intentions. Some days you’ll lean heavier on one side, and that’s normal. The key is guiding yourself gently back to centre whenever you drift too far.

Tools and Tips for Everyday Life

Your toolkit for staying in balance might look different from someone else’s. Experiment, keep what works, and ditch what doesn’t. Here are a few ideas that have helped me:

• Time blocking: Give yourself short bursts of focused work (like 25 minutes) and then take a quick break to reset.
• Visual aids: Use sticky notes or a simple whiteboard. Having a quick view of tasks can reduce stress about forgetting something.
• Accountability buddy: Share your goals with a friend who gets it. Let them know if you’re feeling overwhelmed or if you’re slipping.
• Mindful breathers: A few deep breaths can calm your nerves when your brain is firing on all cylinders.

Feel free to tweak these. If you love apps for organisation, give it a shot. If pen and paper suits you better, stick with that. Comfort and practicality matter more than fancy tools.

Lessons I’ve Learned

I used to grab onto control with both hands. Then I’d get tired and drop everything. It created a rollercoaster that left me drained and frustrated. Over time, I realised it wasn’t as binary as I thought. Small consistent tweaks gradually help you find that sweet spot. Here’s what I learned:

If you take on too much, remember you can reset. If you’re avoiding your responsibilities, remind yourself that even a tiny step forward makes a difference. The goal isn’t to be perfect; it’s to get comfortable with being somewhere in the messy middle.

• Keep track of triggers that cause you to clamp down or give up.
• Reward yourself often, even with small treats or breaks.
• Give yourself permission to not ace everything. Passing is enough some days.

The biggest shift for me was learning that control doesn’t define my success. Getting overly stuck on it holds me back. Leaning into the natural flow of life, trusting my intuition, and using small strategies for self-awareness keeps me from wearing myself out.

• Life is dynamic, so our approach can be too.
• Balance is not static. It’s about how you steer and when you adjust course.

Key Takeaways

• Recognise signals of too much or no control.
• Use practical steps (time blocking or visual reminders) to reduce overload.
• Reflect regularly on what pushes you off balance.
• Don’t fear small steps—they’ll add up over time.
• Flexibility and self-kindness trump perfect planning.

If you want the full story and plenty more real-life examples, the podcast player is right at the top of this page for you to tune in. Give it a listen and let me know if you’ve found strategies that work for you. Because when we learn to handle control in a healthier way, life feels a whole lot lighter.