Dyslexia and Marriage

Dyslexia and Marriage: What They Don’t Tell You About Neurodiverse Love

Let’s be real. Relationships are hard. Relationships and Marriage with Dyslexia is harder.

Throwing in dyslexia, ADHD (and maybe a sprinkle of autism or anxiety) into the mix, and suddenly it feels like you’re trying to build Ikea furniture with two different instruction manuals, and neither of you can read Swedish.

But here’s the thing: being neurodiverse doesn’t mean you’re broken in love. It just means you’re playing a slightly different game. You’ve got to learn the rules.

Let me walk you through what I’ve learned, from experience, from failing forward, and from talking to hundreds of people like you.

1. Get Your Pictures Straight

This one’s massive.

If you’re married to a dyslexic (or you are one), you’ve probably seen this. One person has a super clear picture in their head of what they want. The other is hearing words that don’t match. And boom, a fight breaks out.

The catch? You’re both actually agreeing on the core thing. But you're describing it in totally different ways.

See, dyslexic minds think in pictures, feelings, and movies, not bullet points.

We feel the idea first, we see the scene, and then try (badly) to translate it into words. Sometimes we overtalk. Sometimes we underexplain. And sometimes we just shut down because the frustration is too much.

The key here? Ask about the picture.

Seriously, if your partner is dyslexic, instead of “What do you mean by that?”, try “What does it look like in your head?” Game changer.

2. Do They Get You?

One of the best things my wife does for me is back my crazy ideas. Not all of them, but enough that I don’t feel like I’m alone out here trying to reinvent the wheel with duct tape and energy drinks.

If you’re neurodiverse, your path might look more like a zigzag than a straight line. You’ll pivot. You’ll try new things. You’ll reinvent yourself a few times.

So if you’re looking for a long-term partner, marry the one who gets that. The one who doesn’t freak out when your career path suddenly looks like a whiteboard full of spaghetti.

Support doesn’t mean they need to understand everything, but they need to respect that you’ll change, grow, and explore. Because otherwise, it’s just going to hurt later on.

Dyslexia and Marriage Photo

3. Self-Awareness is the Glue

Let me be blunt. If one person is growing and the other isn’t, you’ve got a problem.

It doesn’t matter if you're the neurodiverse one or not. If you're on a journey of healing, therapy, mindset, or self-awareness, and your partner's still blaming everyone else for their stuff, that's a ticking time bomb.

Marriages struggle when someone gets stuck in their story and refuses to see their part in the dance.

Neurodiverse folks often get hit hard by this because we’re used to masking. But once you start seeing how your brain works, you can’t unsee it. And that can be frustrating when your partner won’t even look.

4. You Can’t Win Love

A lot of us with dyslexia or ADHD grew up trying to "win" love.

Win approval, win attention, win the charismatic partner, or the pretty one, or the successful one, so we feel like we’re enough.

But real love isn’t a trophy. Marriage and Dyslexia is not easy.

It’s about walking in the same direction, even if you’re on different footpaths. You don’t need someone who completes you. You need someone who compliments your weird, magical way of being in the world.

Me and my wife? We see the same future. Even if we disagree on how to get there, which we do often, we want the same kind of life. Same kind of home. Same kind of freedom.

That alignment matters more than anything else.

5. The Little Misunderstandings Can Blow Up Big

Let’s talk real-life fights.

Your partner says something while you're focused on a movie. You snap. They think you don’t care. You feel like they just yanked your brain out of the zone.

Sound familiar?

It’s not about the movie. It’s about how our brains process input. Our picture is flowing, and when it’s interrupted, it can feel like someone just yanked the power cord out mid-download.

We’re not trying to be rude. We’re just trying to hold onto the thread.

So what do you do? Build systems. Pause the show. Set a “talk time.” Have rules that help each other understand how your brains work. It won’t fix everything, but it’ll stop 90% of the avoidable drama.

Final Thoughts on Marriage and Dyslexia

Marriage, or any committed relationship, is like trying to build a spaceship while you're flying it. And if you're neurodiverse, that ship might be powered by dopamine and daydreams.

But don’t let that scare you.

Dyslexic and ADHD brains love deeply. We’re creative, loyal, and passionate. We just need partners who can read between the lines (and maybe pause the Netflix once in a while).

So whether you're married, thinking about it, or healing from it, just know this:

You’re not broken. You're wired differently. And if you find someone who gets that?

You’ve already won.

Want more?

Take our Dyslexia Quiz
🎙️ Listen to the Podcast — 10-minute episodes that get it

Don't let being married to someone with Dyslexia worry you. It's like all things in life, it is just getting used to the quirks. Being open minded makes a massive difference.

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