10 Things I Wish I Had Know Before I Turned 20

Ever wished you could go back in time and give your younger self some practical advice? That’s exactly what this episode tackles. Stephen Martin looks back on key moments in his life with dyslexia and ADHD, sharing powerful lessons that can help you grow, no matter your age.

From uncovering the real reasons behind our behaviour to visualising better outcomes, the conversation highlights ten core insights that remind us to be kinder to ourselves and embrace the uniqueness of our brains. Below you’ll find a look at these lessons and how you can apply them today.

Understand Cause and Effect

One of the most eye-opening lessons is realising how easily we overlook the link between what we do and what happens next. If you’ve ever wondered why you keep making the same mistakes, it might come down to not connecting the dots.

“You suck at cause and effect.”

This simple line says it all. Stephen notes that many of us, especially adults with dyslexia, can gloss over the consequences of our choices. But with some awareness, you can spot patterns and make more conscious decisions. That means stepping back and asking: what led me here, and how can I change the outcome next time?

Rewrite Your Story

Our lives are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves. From “I’m always failing” to “I can’t get it right,” these narratives frame our behaviour and limit our growth. If you want to break out of old ruts, start by rewriting the tale.

Stephen reminds us that perfection is just a perspective, so trying to live up to someone else’s definition is often a losing battle. The stories you tell can be updated. When you catch yourself repeating a negative mantra, switch it with something more forgiving. Rewrite “I’ll never get this right” to “I’m learning, and I’m allowed to make mistakes.” It’s a small shift that builds a more positive story.

Embrace the Present Moment

In a world full of distractions, being present can feel like an impossible task. Yet getting “here and now” can do wonders for mental health and self-improvement. It’s about slowing down, putting aside the to-do list, and focusing on what’s right in front of you.

For those of us with neurodiverse minds, being fully present often offers clarity. Visualisation also plays a part here. Picture how you want to feel in the next hour or next day. Then look around and notice tiny details—like the texture of your desk or the warmth of your cup of tea. Tuning into these senses brings you back to centre.

Nurture Your Uniqueness

Stephen’s journey shows the value of understanding yourself from the inside out. Gene testing was an unexpected game-changer for him. It gave insights into how his body and mind work, and it led to more informed health choices. If you’ve ever felt “off” and couldn’t figure out why, exploring your genetics might help unlock some answers.

He also talks about blending routine with novelty. Some of us thrive on structured habits, while others need fresh experiences to stay engaged. If it feels right for you, try weaving both into your week: a consistent daily schedule spiced up with mini adventures. It keeps you motivated without overwhelm.

On top of that, remember that we’re all the same in many ways, but we’re also different. Dyslexia and ADHD come in endless variations. Comparing yourself to others often leads to frustration. Instead, focus on using your unique wiring to your advantage—whether that’s thinking outside the box or narrating stories in your head to help you remember tasks.

Prioritise Your Health Early

Staying healthy isn’t just about the gym. It’s about managing stress, practising self-compassion, and keeping an eye on your physical well-being before things spiral. This episode emphasises how crucial it is to start that journey sooner rather than later.

Self-kindness might sound fluffy, but it’s a real lifesaver. If you find yourself in a negative spiral, put a hand on your heart and remind yourself that you’re doing your best. It’s not always easy, but developing a practice of self-compassion gives you the resilience to keep going.

Stephen also highlights the importance of setting a vision for each year. Pick a simple theme or goal—maybe it’s improving your energy levels or learning a new skill. This habit of intentional focus helps you check in with yourself and avoid drifting.

• Cause and effect: Notice how your actions lead to outcomes.
• No such thing as perfect: Change perspectives instead of chasing perfection.
• Stories we tell ourselves shape our reality.
• Being present transforms your day-to-day mindset.
• Gene testing can shed light on health and mental well-being.
• Balance routine with novelty for steady progress and fun.
• Self-compassion boosts resilience.
• We’re both unique and similar, and that’s a good thing.
• Yearly vision-setting keeps you focused.
• Early health checks can prevent bigger issues.

Want to dive deeper into each of these lessons? The podcast’s player will be at the top of this page, so give it a listen. It’s a genuine and honest conversation that’ll help you rethink how you approach life with dyslexia and ADHD. Enjoy the insights and remember, a little kindness toward yourself can go a long way.