Mimicking - Staying Safe

Ever feel like you’re copying the people around you without meaning to? This special replay episode from Stephen Martin dives into why that happens. He’s taking a summer break in New Zealand, so he’s chosen some of the most talked about episodes to revisit. This one explores the instinctive behaviour many dyslexic adults rely on to feel safe, accepted, and part of the crowd.

In this episode, Stephen unpacks the habit of “mimicking” or “mirroring.” He explains how it can be a useful way to learn and build rapport, but also how it can chip away at who you truly are. Whether you’re new to the concept or it’s an old friend, you’ll find real-life insights and strategies worth considering.

What Is Mimicking?

Mimicking is when you unconsciously mirror the people around you. You might copy their body language or repeat their words. It can happen at work, with friends, or in relationships.

Stephen calls it a survival strategy. When you’re not sure how to fit in, mirroring others can feel safer than showing your unique self. The reward is acceptance—but it can also leave you wondering if people see the real you.

Why We Do It

Some of us grew up unsure of how to navigate social situations. Dyslexia often brings extra layers of anxiety about making mistakes or being misunderstood. Mirroring becomes our go-to trick when we sense that standing out might mean standing alone.

It’s not always bad. You can learn new skills by copying those around you. You can bond faster when you use familiar tones or gestures. But the constant pressure to keep people happy can be exhausting.

The Hidden Cost of Always Fitting In

It might feel like a superpower at first, but there’s a downside. Mirroring too often can send you on a path of questioning who you really are. The act of blending in can blur your sense of self.

Your words and actions might be so influenced by others that you lose track of what lights you up. Stephen points out this is common for dyslexic adults who’ve spent years trying to mask their struggles. The stress can build where you’re never quite sure if it’s you talking, or just the version of you you’re offering to the world.

“Is this actually me— or is this just keeping me safe?”

Stephen encourages you to ask this question whenever you catch yourself copying someone’s style, approach, or opinions. It might spark a moment of clarity about what you want and need, rather than what others expect.

Finding Your Authentic Self

So how do you keep what’s good about mirroring, while still staying true to yourself?

• Notice when you’re doing it. Create small pauses in conversation to check in with yourself.
• Identify your values. Write down what truly matters to you. Compare that list to how you behave with others.
• Practise saying “no.” If people-pleasing has become your norm, experiment with gentle ways to decline.
• Celebrate what makes you different. Being dyslexic is part of that unique spark, not a flaw to hide.

It’s an ongoing journey. Stephen highlights that nobody drops their mask all at once. The real change comes as you gradually shift from automatic copying to conscious choice.

Takeaways

• Mimicking helps dyslexic adults learn but can also lead to anxiety.
• Uncertainty triggers people-pleasing behaviour.
• Confidence grows when you recognise and honour your true identity.
• Ask yourself if you’re acting from fear or authenticity.

Feeling curious? There’s more detail in the full episode. You’ll hear Stephen’s personal stories, plus some clever tips for examining your own habits. Tune in at the top of this page to listen.

Ready for extra support? Join the Right Brain Resetters community at rightbrainresetters.com. And if you’re looking for top-quality nutrition boosts, get 20% off your first order at addednutrition.com. For more on adult dyslexia, visit truthaboutdyslexia.com or join our Facebook Group at facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia.

Take a moment to consider how you mirror the world around you, then give the full podcast a listen. You might discover a side of yourself you’ve been missing.