The Three Things Neurodiverse Minds Must Let Go Of Before January 100%

Ever feel like the new year is full of expectations and rules you never signed up for? In this episode of the Truth About Dyslexia (player above), Stephen Martin talks about shedding three burdens that often weigh on neurodiverse minds. He shows how letting go of rigid rules, shame from social norms, and pressure to conform can bring new clarity and freedom.

You’ll learn why these out-of-place expectations can hold you back and how to create your own rhythm instead. By embracing your unique thinking, the new year can be the start of a more authentic version of you.

Why Letting Go Matters

We all want fresh starts. The problem is we often carry old baggage into January without realising it. Constantly comparing yourself to neurotypical standards can drain your energy and creativity. Sometimes, you follow rules that were never made for your brain in the first place.

Stephen says true success works better when you have less mental clutter. Letting go of the stuff that doesn’t serve you frees up room to explore what does. You can create systems that fit your life and leave behind the weight of rigid routines that never felt right.

“Let go of the rules you were never built for.”

Question the Rules That Don’t Fit

Rigid rules tell us there’s one way to achieve goals. For a neurodiverse mind, that’s rarely true. If you’re dyslexic or ADHD, you might think in leaps and bounds that never show up in neat templates.

Stephen suggests looking at which habits or routines actually work for you. Then, make small tweaks until you find your flow. Instead of forcing yourself to wake up at 5 am because a best-selling book said so, experiment with your natural energy. This could mean late-night bursts of creativity or small spurts of focus during the day.

• Identify which rules actually help you progress.
• Stop forcing ones that add stress or shame.
• Replace old “shoulds” with flexible systems.

Shake Off the Shame

Shame creeps in when you feel you’re not meeting everyone else’s standards. It’s the worry that you’re doing it all wrong. But that stigma can stunt your progress. You get fixated on making your work look “normal” instead of letting your brain’s strengths shine through.

In the podcast, Stephen explains that shame is a bigger barrier than people realise. It drains motivation. It can stop you from reaching out for support. Worst of all, it makes you shrink back from your unique gifts.

Letting go of shame means trusting that there’s nothing wrong with you. You just process the world differently, and that brings enormous potential. When shame is out of the picture, you free yourself to learn, grow, and make genuine connections.

Create Your Own Systems

Many neurodiverse adults have realised that typical routines just don’t cut it. Gradual, custom-built structures (like using visuals or creative prompts) can guide you far better than a one-size-fits-all plan.

No matter what you’re aiming for—fitness, career, relationships—design systems around your strengths. If you work best in short bursts, schedule quick tasks and treat yourself to mini-breaks. If you’re great under a looming deadline, build your schedule around it without the guilt.

• Experiment with different productivity apps or methods.
• Schedule tasks when you’re most alert.
• Build in rewards to keep motivation high.

When you live by systems that suit who you are, January stops being a harsh reset. It becomes another chapter in your ongoing story, shaped by your unique style.

Stepping into Authenticity

Part of breaking free is acknowledging that you don’t have to be like everyone else. By letting go of the pressure to conform, you give yourself permission to dream in a different language, to think in pictures, or to see patterns no one else notices.

Life changes when you remove yourself from the comparison game. Instead of aiming to meet someone else’s ideals, you focus on building the life you want. Embrace your peculiarities—you won’t just keep up, you might surpass what you ever thought possible.

As Stephen shares, it’s about letting the real you shine rather than camouflaging to fit the background. When you align with your true nature, determination and creativity flow more freely.

• Appreciate the beauty of your different thinking style.
• Let people see the real you, quirks and all.
• Realise you can achieve goals without hiding who you are.

Key Takeaways

• Rigid rules can be replaced with flexible rhythms.
• Shame weighs you down but can be released.
• You don’t have to meet neurotypical standards.
• Systems designed by you will serve you best.
• Each new year is a continuation, not a forced overhaul.

Ready to set yourself free from expectations that don’t match your brilliance? Join us in this chat as we break down why saying goodbye to unhelpful rules, shame, and conformity can open the door for genuine self-expression. Listen to the full episode (player above) to hear stories, tips, and the unfiltered truths about living with a neurodiverse mind.

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To learn more, visit truthaboutdyslexia.com or join our Facebook group at facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia.