When Words Betray / A No- Bs Guide To Loving A Dyslexic Brain

Ever feel like you’re speaking a different language to your partner? Maybe you’ve replayed a conversation, only to realise you each came away with completely different pictures in your heads. In this episode of the Truth About Dyslexia podcast with Stephen Martin, we delve into why communication can be extra tricky when dyslexia or ADHD is in the mix, and how we can work through it more smoothly.

Stephen shares five practical tips to help you and your partner communicate better. He explains why pausing before interruping is vital, how scheduling regular check-ins can boost emotional connection, and why different images in our minds can lead to major misunderstandings. If you or your loved one is wired differently, this episode’s insights might be a real game-changer.

Recognise Different Communication Styles

Not everyone communicates in the same way. Dyslexia or ADHD can affect how we process information, which then shapes how we express ourselves. Some people need time to think before speaking. Others just jump in and talk as they figure things out.

When you notice these distinct approaches, it’s easier to stay patient. Instead of rushing conversations, you can allow space for each person to be heard. That awareness alone can help calm the tension that often arises during stressful talks.

“Relationships can be tough for neurodiverse individuals.” — Stephen Martin

Pause Before You Jump In

Picture this scenario: You’re really excited about what your partner just said, so you leap in with your thoughts. They feel cut off. Sound familiar? Overlapping each other’s words is common, especially for visual thinkers who see a mental picture and want to share it fast.

A small pause can make a huge difference. It lets the other person finish their thought and ensures they feel heard. If you need to, jot down your idea quickly so you don’t lose it. Then wait those extra few seconds before speaking.

Schedule Your Check-Ins

Emotional object permanence can be an issue when you have dyslexia or ADHD. If your partner’s not right in front of you, the connection can fade from your focus. Scheduling regular check-ins, whether it’s a weekly coffee chat or a quick daily message, reminds you to keep the relationship in mind.

These scheduled moments can stop either of you feeling ignored for too long. You don’t have to work around 24/7 availability. Just commit to show up for each other at predictable times, which helps build trust.

Control Overreactions

Sometimes, we react strongly without realising how intense it sounds to others. In the heat of the moment, words can fly out and lead to a spiral of hurt feelings. Stop that loop before it starts by taking a deep breath or walking away for a moment to think.

When you find your partner’s emotions running high, calmly suggest a break. It’s not about avoidance. It’s about preventing a flood of stress that derails the conversation. Come back with cooler heads and try again.

Clarify Assumptions

If you’re a visual thinker, you might ‘see’ a conversation going one way in your mind, while your partner imagines it totally differently. This often leads to confusion. You think, “Didn’t you say you were free on Friday?” while they recall the chat in another light.

Don’t let these mismatched images linger. Ask your partner to restate what they heard. If it differs from what you meant, clear it up straight away. A quick reality check spares you both from a big blow-up down the track.

• Recognise unique communication preferences.
• Take a beat before interrupting your partner.
• Schedule short, regular check-ins to stay connected.
• Keep emotions in check to avoid escalation.
• Verify assumptions to prevent misunderstandings.

Ready to dive deeper? If you’d like more insights on how to support adults with dyslexia or ADHD, listen to the full episode in the player at the top of the page. Stephen Martin’s practical tips might inspire you to tweak just a few habits and make a world of difference in your relationships.

Check out truthaboutdyslexia.com for additional resources, and join our supportive community at facebook.com/groups/adultdyslexia. You can also follow the RightSiders supplement journey at rightsiders.org/wait-list. See you there!